I still recall how we both said “you are the one” our hearts were so true

We lived our lives from day to day no worries no concerns no inhibitions

Clinging on to our romance for which our heart so yearned one thought one vision

Nothing or no one could come between us then we were invincible

But somewhere along the way somehow I lost my dearest friend and the pain is unbearable

High as a mountain our love stood tall it was meant to be forever

After the rise so tragically now comes the fall you said you’d leave me never

You and I had never thought that the day would come

When we would say goodbye and leave here one by one

I’m asking you for the very last time

Please hold me won’t you let me stay one more night before we say goodbye forever

I’ll never love again the way I loved you forget you how could I ever

Love is cruel without you

—————-

My story behind “Love is Cruel” (please use earphones):

I just took a walk through my forest to let my sorrow be.
Pain from the past, hidden deep down inside of me, came to the surface and I am glad it happened because now I can let go. After all it happened in the past and there is nothing I can do about it. What I can do is learn from it and transform it into something positive NOW.

It started with writing down the lyrics of this song “Love is Cruel”.
In those days Rob and Ferdi Bolland were my producers for the album “Valleys of emotions”.
My good friend Addy van den Krommenacker, who now is a very successful fashion designer, came up with this number, which originally is an Italian song. Ferdi Bolland (who was my almost ex husband then) wrote the lyrics.
I remember that I couldn’t sing this song with him, so I needed another producer.
What hits me now when I listen to the song, are the dreams I used to have which did not come true: getting children, have a family. I still live in the house I shared with Ferdi, the room which was supposed to be the children’s bedroom is now a guestroom, the smaller children’s bedroom is now packed with all the material I have about my career; audio- and videotapes, scrapbooks, photo’s you name it.

My garden is a “paradise” for children. I have a forest with gnomes and fairies. I created that for my inner child I keep telling myself and others. But is that really true? Isn’t this a way to compensate the lack?

There is one sentence I sing : I’ll never love again the way I loved you”.
After my marriage I have been trying 3 times with others but it didn’t work. Wasn’t I suppose to sing that particular sentence?

All these thoughts give me all the insights now. I want to transform my life. How? I have no idea yet. But… I want my life to be different! I let the old patterns go to make room for something else. The sun is shining now…my intentions are confirmed! I am on the right path!